First shopping trip

I didn't do too much thinking beforehand as to how I would manage bags and baby. Do you load the bags or baby into the hot and sun-drenched car first? Do you return the trolley or just leave it wedged in the closest garden bed?

Other people

When we got married more than 3 years ago we made a discovery about the world that we didn't expect to make around the time of our wedding....other people are SO generous. Maybe more to the point was that we had spent our generosity very close to home (like on ourselves!) rather than being well tuned in to the people around us. Unto that point I had developed a policy of drinking at wedding receptions to the $ value of my wedding gift. It's true. FYI, if you invited me to your wedding after a glass or two I usually retired from my drinking challenge due to overwhelming weariness!

So again, we are embarrassed and challenged by our self-centredness as cards and gifts pour into our letter box and walk through the door for Angus. It goes beyond an etiquette or politeness but a genuine generosity that would have to be sacrificial - people choosing to share rather than save/spend for themselves.

The learning curve at this time for us is not just about settling techniques and treating rashes. Just like at our wedding we are challenged to join the throng of people who've learnt that celebration of life events is more than saying 'hip hip hooray' and raising a glass.

Here you go Sarah

Here we are. There are some Aunties out there in blogland who have requested MORE photos of the wonder child to be uploaded. He's got a bit of milk rash on his face at the moment so we are suspending all photo shoots for the baby pageant until it has cleared up. Do you know how hard it is to get foundation to match his skin tone? Joking.

Mutual Admiration

I'm not competing with yesterday's post from Michael but it IS his birthday today.

Michael is a bloke who lives by the Godly integrity within him rather than the forces around him. He is always respectful, always fair and always trying give a better effort than last time. He's not the kinda guy that says different things about you when you are not around. He cuts people slack after he's already cut them slack. He is the 'stable table' in our marriage and thinks nothing of sending me to bed while he sits up in the wee small hours with a restless baby. He is generous and loving and my husband. Happy Birthday MB.

A Tribute

As many of you will know tomorrow the 19th is Rachel’s birthday. This day in 1971 she was in a position not too dissimilar to where Angus is today.

For us as new parents you always wonder how you will go being a parent. Will we be able to cope with labour, the learning curve, the sleepless nights….

I have been in awe of the way Rachel has adapted to parenthood. She is truly amazing. She is relaxed and loving, constantly giving and seems to have a confidence in her new role as mother which I have to be truthful I had not expected. In so many ways I thought we would just bumble through this together and resurface some time in 3 months to say hello to everyone and continue on our way. The sensitive and relatively non maternal artist has revealed a resolve and a maternal instinct of which I am in full admiration.

I can honestly say that I don’t think I could have done this parenthood thing without her (and I don’t mean that in the pure biological sense). The parenthood thing has also given me a new appreciation for our parents, and single parents who do this with their partner either absent or away for long periods. Hats off to you all.. Any way back to Rachel….

Many of you will only nod in knowing agreement at this post. Rachel has long demonstrated that she is so capable in everything she turns her hand to. She has the greatest capacity in the midst of everything to still be aware of the needs of other people beside me and Angus and I think that says so much about who she is as a person. She is the love of my life and I hope you will join me in wishing her a very happy birthday – her first a as a superwoman and now also as a mother.

Mike

A contribution from Angus – “Gurgle, Gurgle, Grunt, snort. I love my mum. I have nicknamed her “Milk Barr”. Gurgle, grunt, yawn, snort”

A Decent Obsession

I don't think we're unnaturally obsessed with our baby but there's a few more photos where these came from. We LOVE him. He's a great feeder and a placid soul but we think he's had a few issues with colic. It just makes for a 1am parent who is far more distressed than the screaming baby. We soon realised that if you hold him all day long he thinks his cot is a torture chamber for the night - so we reluctantly make him sleep in the cot once or twice during the day. For Michael and I every little thing because a conversation topic from a back patting technique that worked well to whether the wonton soup has a little too much chilli for me to eat it. The big issues of life have become trivial baby problems to be solved.

Homecoming

Attempting Words for the Indescribable

My very first response when they put a 10 second old Angus on my chest was “It’s a human”. You might think that’s a funny response – like I was thinking I might have a pony or something – but up until that point I had only talked about a ‘baby’. It was my spiritual moment of connection with him when instantly I realised that his life was now joining ours in humanity and he had joined us to create family. What a moment.

The labour did a few turns along the way which made the decision to eventually have an epidural an easy one. Angus moved to be in a difficult position, they wanted to speed up the contractions as I was progressing slowly and we knew he was a ‘big unit’. The epidural meant that after 10 hours of contractions I had instantly had no pain and rested peacefully for 5 hours before I had to start pushing. It was none of the trauma I was prepared for. The last few minutes of pulling him out was hard work for my obstetrician. He had both hands on the vacuum and was impressing Michael with his brute strength. I closed my eyes and pushed when they said so.

So, the new Barr family had a few moments together before Angus needed attention by the Paediatrician. Both his lungs had collapsed and his breathing was laboured. We had another minute or so to cuddle and kiss him. He was then in the Neo Natal unit where they put catheters in his sides to drain out the air that had leaked from his lungs to the adjoining cavity. Soon after a special care team came to transfer him to a kids hospital for further treatment. He was there for 24 hours and then back in our hospital for another 24 hours before he was delivered to our room so we could enjoy him all to ourselves. They initially told us he could be in special care in the other hospital for 4 days so we knew we got a toughie when he recovered so quickly. It was instant perspective when we visited Angus in his humidicrib which was parked next to a baby weighing 500g. Angus was born x8 that weight at over 4kgs (close to 9lb I think?).

So, he’s totally wonderful. My favourite moment so far was when he was in special care in the same hospital as us. The nurses called me at 2am to come and feed him which I did. I had only been back in bed for half an hour when they called again to say he was so hungry he was trying to feed from the nurses so come back for another feed. At this point I was feeling the weight of mothering a big Barr boy. I waddled back downstairs and offered him food but he just took a look and fell asleep in my arms. He knew I was his mummy and he didn’t want anything else from me except a cuddle. At that point I was fully besotted.

Since we’ve had him with us we’ve hardly put him down. Michael cuddled him for 3 hours from 3am this morning. Angus is not yet practiced at sleeping horizontally which is Goal of the Week for us!

Michael is a besotted and embracing fatherhood with everything he has. Both boys can't get enough of eachother and Michael has been able to divide his love 100% to me and 100% to Angus. Another amazing capacity birth develops in you.

Before being discharged he had scans on his kidney which we knew from week 20 of pregnancy had an abnormal inflammation. We had a paediatric urologist lined up to operate at 6 months so that the kidney might regain full function. As of the scan yesterday it seems his kidney has rectified itself to the point it is just outside of ‘normal’ dimensions. We are so grateful and relieved.

We arrived home yesterday and I felt like I’d just accepted a new job. No longer was I incubating a baby but I was mother to Angus Barr. At first we thought he looked very Barr but over the last 6 days he’s changed a bit and I think he’s got a good dose of Harris as well. He’s wonderful. We are wonderfully made – I know that full well. Thank you God for humanity and spirituality.

A few favourite pic's

A Barr Is Born

Angus Harrison Cam BARR

On the 8th May we welcomed Angus Harrison Cam Barr into the world at 3.30pm. For those that like stats, he was little over 4kgs in weigh (8lbs 14) and about 55 cms long.

He has a problem with his lungs which is not life threatening but required him to be moved to a specialist hospital a few kms away where he can get some special care for a few days. Obviously a little it of challenge for us but we are doing well and know he is good hands.

We’ve chosen three significant family names for these reasons…

Angus – named after Michael’s grandfather who was a man of humility, warmth and servanthood. He always enjoyed learning and sharing life’s lessons.

Harrison – ‘the artist formerly known as Rachel Harris’ has created the first grandchild in her immediate family. Knowing Michael’s penchant for nicknames, don’t be surprised if we affectionately call this kid “Harry” when he’s not being naughty.

Cam – In the 9 months of joyfully expecting a baby boy we have also walked beside Rachel’s brother in his treatment for cancer. This period of time been marked by our need to hold in balance the richest, heaviest and deepest facets of life. In this respect, Cam has led the way.

There are not too many times in life that I get to send an email (unedited) so it would be remiss of me not to miss the opportunity to mention that whilst we are happy for him to find his own path in life don’t be surprised if the Swans will be drafting a new full forward in the 2026 draft.

Happy Birthday Carmel

Brunch at Subi Hotel
Ladies in waiting

We cheated a little bit and celebrated Carmel's birthday over brunch yesterday. It's her birthday today but we thought we'd make the most of yesterday's window of opportunity since there weren't two of us in hospital...yet.

We know our Bebe's birthday will be 8th May unless I keep doing long walks and eat a lot more chilli before then. Michael's parents fly in on Tuesday night, my bags are packed, the freezer is full, the washing is done and my eyebrows are plucked. Ready!

Cam could be coming out of hospital tomorrow since all his blood counts are looking fine.

Waiting, waiting, waiting....